Tag: mental-health

Creating a routine that keeps you grounded

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When you are unemployed, it is tempting to sleep until 10:00 am (or later) and lounge around a good part of the day watching daytime television between job applications. After all, job hunting is exhausting and draining.

Yes, it is, but that is not a good idea.

Unemployed people still need a sense of routine in their lives. A person without a routine is in for a rude awakening once they do land a job and have to adjust to having one.

If you are without a job, how do you create a routine that keeps you grounded during your job search? Your idea of a routine may be different from mine, and your mileage may vary.

  1. Get up at the same time every day, including weekends. (And by this, I don’t mean 10:00 am or later. I mean a time when people with jobs get up.) You did this when you were working, so don’t stop now. You will need this consistency when you have a job again.
  • Sit down in front of the computer and begin the job hunt at the same time every day. This ensures that the job search actually gets done.
  • Set a goal of how many jobs to which to apply each day. Maybe you can only apply to one per day without going insane. If that’s the case, then make one job your goal for the day. There will be days when you don’t find anything for which you qualify. If that happens, just walk away from the computer, have a good cry, and know that you have tried your best. (However, don’t give up until you have been looking for at least a few hours.)
  • You need not eat lunch and/or dinner at the same time every day, but please put some food in your system during days when you job hunt. (I understand that, with many people out of work and SNAP running out of money, you may not be able to eat lunch and/or dinner. If that is your case, please reach out to your local food bank or church.)
  • Remember: It’s okay to have a good cry once in a while.

In a nutshell, what routine keeps you grounded during your job search?

Mending your confidence after job rejections

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We have all been there.

You put your best foot forward in your job application, your resume, and your cover letter, only to get that wonderful love letter in your email weeks later that informs you that the company has “decided to pursue other candidates.”

You wonder what these “other candidates” have that you don’t. Or what they can offer that you can’t.

And that is if you get a response at all.

You decide to move on and keep applying, only to have the same thing happen again. In some cases, over and over.

When this happens to a job seeker, it not only erodes their confidence, but can ultimately destroy it. What can a person do to boost confidence in the face of rejection?

  1. Spend time with people who love you. This would not only mean your spouse or significant other (if you have one), but also your family and friends. Tell them about what is happening in your job search, whether it is good or bad. Listen to them when they tell you good things about you (“You are one smart cookie!” “You are such a good writer! I love reading what you write!”) and commit them to memory. They can neutralize the acid of rejection.
  • Participate in hobbies or activities at which you excel. If you regularly score high at bowling, hit the alley. If swimming is your thing, go to the gym, YMCA, or community pool and do enough laps to brag about. Thinking about how good you are at these things will help your overall confidence.
  • Be sure to get enough sleep. This may sound incongruous, but we all know that you need enough sleep to function at your best and look your best, and when you look and function at your best, your confidence increases. It’s a trickle-down effect.

Above all, don’t give up. You can land that job.

What do you do to boost your confidence in the face of job rejection?

Going crazy working from home alone? Not me.

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I am an introvert, so I really don’t mind working alone. It’s just me, sitting at my computer, with minimal distractions. No beeping coming from the office fax machine. No phones ringing (my husband and I ditched the landline in 2010, and I can silence my cell phone any time I want to). And, most importantly, no coworkers having a conversation near my workspace. The only distractions I usually deal with come from outside my window.

I would imagine, however, that an extrovert would go crazy doing what I do. From what I understand, extroverts thrive on the company of other people. (Do they? I have never been one, so I am not certain.)

If I had to give advice to an extrovert who freelanced alone from home, my top piece of advice would be the following: Join at least one professional organization.

This is the best way to avoid isolation. I am a member of the Editorial Freelancers Association (EFA) and American Copy Editors Society (ACES), and I credit these two organizations for helping me meet other editors, interact with them, and exchange tips, advice, and encouragement with them. I have met many independent editors through Zoom webinars, and a lot of them I have never seen, but I interact with them in discussion forums.

The bonus? Finally meeting these editors in person at an organizational conference. I did this two years ago at EFACON in Alexandria, Virginia.

Another tidbit of advice that I would give a freelancing extrovert is to take a break when it’s appropriate. Do something during that break where you interact with others. Write an email to a friend. Call an elderly relative. Just don’t take a break for too long, or you will not stay motivated in your work. Staying motivated will be my next post.

If you feel isolated while working from home alone, what do you do to combat that feeling?

Never, ever do this.

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It can be tempting to date someone who works with you, especially since you spend the majority of your waking hours at your job. Your coworkers are the people you see the most and with whom you spend most of your time, so you get to know them pretty well. You get to know their tastes in music, food, clothing, vacation destinations, and so forth.

There can be chemistry between coworkers, and an attraction can take place. This is especially likely if the other person has the same tastes as you do. You might start to wonder, “What would it be like to go with her to our favorite restaurant?” or “What would it be like to go to the beach with him?”

STOP RIGHT THERE.

Do not date a coworker.

First of all, it is unprofessional. A person’s professional life and personal life should be kept separate and should never be mixed with each other. If you are in a romantic relationship with a coworker, it might not be long before you start calling them “sweetie” or “honey” at work. ICK.

Second, there will be too much togetherness. As was previously stated, your coworkers are the people you see the most and with whom you spend most of your time, so you will see your significant other at work and at home for a total of nearly all of your waking hours. Your significant other needs a chance to miss you, and vice versa.

Third, many romantic relationships end in a breakup, and if you and your coworker eventually break up, seeing them at work will be awkward at best and downright painful at worst. You don’t want to put yourself through that.

And don’t even think about trying to date a married coworker.

What are your opinions on dating a coworker?

It’s not going to get better until we get serious about it.

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I’m talking about mental health.

I was reading this short article on LinkedIn and the comments on it: https://www.linkedin.com/news/story/mental-health-pto-is-often-denied-6125844/

I have to share my feelings on it because the situation sickened me.

It seems that 30 percent of mental health claims for disability pay were denied last year, compared to 18 percent of all other disability claims, according to the article. What does this tell us?

It tells us that mental health is viewed as less important than physical health in the workplace—and in the world in general.

As a person with a documented mental illness who works productively and even owns and operates a business, I rely on effective mental health care. When I was working at a staff job (as opposed to being my own boss), I was often forced to schedule appointments with counselors and psychiatrists during the workday, because those professionals worked the same hours I did. I was very blessed that I did not need notes from the professionals in order to use sick leave. (I am aware that sick leave is not the same as PTO, but it is very similar and suffers from the same problems regarding mental health.)

Very occasionally, I had to take a mental health day just to keep myself alive, because I knew I could not function at work that day due to severe depression or mania. Again, I was incredibly blessed that this did not need documentation. This was about 20 years ago. I don’t know if I could do the same thing in today’s workplace.

A lot of employers have “Employee Assistance Programs.” For me, these have proved to be ineffective.

Employers, and society in general, these days claim to be more cognizant of the mental health of their workers. However, if they don’t start treating it the same as their physical health, nothing is going to get better.