First, you must decide that you want to replace the computer. Glance at your nine-year-old minitower (yes, I said it is nine years old) and sigh about how it served you in a flash for years but is now as slow as molasses. Then look at the ancient monitor that was given to you by a good friend when your last one suddenly died during an editing gig. Tell the machines that it’s been great working with them all these years, but it is time for them to go to the big office desk in the sky.

Next, go online and write down the model numbers of a couple of nice laptops that interest you and which you would like to make part of your family.

Haul the minitower and monitor to the office/electronics store and tell the friendly tech service folks that you would like your information transferred to the laptop of your choice. Say goodbye to your “old faithful” pieces of equipment and pay for your new laptop (you will not actually have it for a few days, so be absolutely sure to save the paperwork!). Let the tech service folks take care of e-cycling the minitower and monitor (don’t forget to thank them for this).

When the store notifies you that your laptop is ready, pick it up and take it home. Unbox it and do your best to hook everything up. Call your spouse to come and help you. Make sure one of things you attach is your nice ergonomic keyboard, and another is your awesome speaker set (the latter for watching YouTube videos and blasting Eurodance music while you clean the bathroom).

Alas, the speakers won’t work. You can’t figure this out, so take the laptop back to the store and beg for help. The tech service person will plug a set of speakers into your laptop without a hitch. Sigh and go home.

Plug your speakers into your laptop again and rejoice when they work. Begin using your new laptop with pleasure.

Finally, reassure your three-year-old work laptop at the other end of the room that you still love it.

Have you replaced hardware recently? How did it go?